Taking Things One Week At A Time And Playing With Shimmer Sharpies…

Well, I think this week’s blog may take on two different themes because I just don’t think my brain has been thinking in a solid frame of mind all week. I am feeling the pressure of the semester and just trying to keep my head on straight throughout this online semester. Also, I am trying to allocate the time for myself to open up and feel creative without the pressure of needing to post something about it.

Let me start with the not so fun stuff, like laundry that has piled up to the point where you have no more clean pants. Or that therapy appointment you know you should go to, but you are insisting to yourself that it’s going to take up too much time, so you don’t go but instead of being productive you just scroll through social media. Not to mention the hours’ worth of homework you are actively procrastinating while you imagine all of the ways your classmates could be judging you during zoom classes.

Life is moving so fast that in one moment I may feel like I am rocking productivity and the next I am literally laying on the ground crying because I don’t think I’ll have enough time to read everything. I am the type of person who is always looking ahead, trying to plan and strategize for any future inconvenience while still trying to put out all of the current fires in life. In some respects, I think this has helped me throughout life because I am hardly ever surprised, but when I am surprised it sends me off my rocker.

I think as I grow older the number of things that can be planned out and strategized for continues to dwindle because with age comes the wisdom that nothing is predictable. So, my ability to constantly look to the future may help me with school projects but for the majority of life that isn’t schedulable, I think it makes it harder for me.

That is why I have been practicing taking things one week at a time since I have started the fall semester. Breaking my energy up into weeklong segments allows me to focus my time on the tasks at hand while still being able to look to the future but just for a week or so. If I try to think of all the projects, I’ll have to turn in by the end of the semester I just end up stressing myself out. Each week all I need to worry about is doing the reading for each of my five classes, complete two to three quizzes, post to discussion boards, complete two to three weekly projects, and of course attend my classes.

Within that week, each day I just focus on finishing whatever tasks are due first and I cannot explain how much this way of thinking has changed my life. So, maybe a week is too short for you, or too long but either way I truly believe that at least consciously knowing every task you need to complete and when is a game changer to productivity.

With this method of mental organization, I usually end up leaving my painting or creative time for the weekends. More often than not I just find time for my creative endeavors in the evenings or early mornings when I can convince myself I have caught up on homework. There have been a few days that I chose to focus my mental energy on something for my little business rather than homework and I quickly regretted it when I came out of the creative trance.

Needless to say, creativity sometimes takes a backseat when I feel like I have a million other responsibilities and I couldn’t tell you why it makes it harder when I feel the pressure to post on my social media outlets. Considering I don’t want to see myself fall out of practice, or worse just stop altogether, I have been channeling my inner silly and trying to have more fun.

Since I try to finish a painting every week, this week I wanted to add a little something extra to the art. I painted a typical scene I find easy, some clouds and a mountain top, but the dried product was so bland I decided to add some sparkle. Metallic Sharpie’s are always fun to write with, so I picked some up and went to town on my boring painting, trying to create something new and exciting.

The first stroke was the scariest because I knew that I couldn’t really paint over it unless I wanted to completely restart my painting and video. Once I placed that shimmering gold sharpie tip on the canvas I just hoped for the best and glided it across the slightly defined mountain tops. By the time I got to decorating the clouds I was just playing around with different shapes and patterns but eventually decided on a simple dot effect, this meant I had to fill in quite a bit of my mistakes.

In the end, I was left with a simple sparkling design (if you catch it in the right light). It may seem silly and I’m not sure exactly when else I could use this technique, but I did enjoy getting to do something brand new to me. I think it freshens up creativity and hey now I’ve got a new multi-medium art piece. Thank you for reading this week’s blog and make sure to check out the video of my sharpie creation!

Copyright © 2020 Serra Isabella. All rights reserved.

4 – 21 -2019

So over the past two years I really feel like I’ve been in a slump, compared to others I’m sure I was excelling because that’s always how I’ve been. I was just so down and hard on myself but now I see how great my life is, every single day I think how grateful I am to live in this gorgeous apartment with this man I am so in love with. I haven’t ever gone hungry or cold. We’ve never missed a bill. I have an amazing life and it only makes me think how much better it’s gonna get, I’m working hard every day to make money and save for my future and now I’m applied to college and registered for classes.

It feels like life moves so fast, I remember sitting in my childhood bedroom dreaming of this exact moment in my life and sometimes I feel frozen. You know, that gut – wrenching feeling in your stomach as the world begins to spin and things don’t make sense anymore. It makes me feel like literally I can’t breath, my heart beats so hard i can feel it all through my veins. It makes me want to crawl into a ball and just disappear and when I can’t do that it makes me want to hit, punch, scream, anything to distract from this feeling. They tell me it’s called General Anxiety Disorder, mainly because it’s almost constant and flares up out of nowhere.

So I guess where this is: me preparing to learn more and more but most importantly better myself every day, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I used to be an all honors student, my lowest grade was a C and I was devastated to get it. Then I finished high school through online school, and as weird as it is I’ve been beating myself up for it for years. I just get into my head that because I didn’t do high school like “normal” people I’m somehow less qualified or intelligent, which I’ve been told by many is not true. Now I’ve been out of school for a while and I’m trying to get back into the swing of things, that’s a big part of me starting this blog. Making a commitment to myself to write something every week is going to prepare me for writing all those college essay’s in my future, plus I think it will be good for my soul and even confidence.

I’ve thought about starting a blog for some time because I’ve always loved writing, I cant tell you how many novel ideas I have flying around my head. So this is my commitment not only to write more consistently but also to improve my writing. Something I’m learning is you can’t talk about it you gotta be about it; you can sit on the couch and tell everyone what you’re going to do but until you get up and do it they won’t care. Life isn’t only our actions and decisions but also our inaction’s or what we choose not to do. Just like everybody else I have fears of being judged or misunderstood and to be honest lately I haven’t really wanted myself on the internet at all because of that. I feel like social media has really taken over society, it scares me how much people care about likes and comments and so on and so forth because it’s just not real life(not to mention it literally never disappears). I think I had to be reminded that even though the internet can do a lot of harm it can also help and be a great resource. Again it’s all in the actions we choose to make, we can be awful or we can spread love.

Overall the only way to really prepare for the future is to be the best you in this moment, for the only time you can change things is now. Think about that, the only way to help yourself in the future is to do stuff in this moment to make your life easier when hard times come. Like I can decide to eat a fruit salad rather than having the whole bag of hot fries for a snack or even do my chores sooner rather than later. It can be hard because I usually just want to do what feels good to me in the moment, like sit on my phone and watch you tube rather than to paint or read instead but in the end the latter always makes me feel better. What may feel good to me right now will make my future self feel even worse. I think that’s part of growing up, choosing what may not feel good but ultimately it will do good for you.

Copyright © 2020 Serra Isabella. All rights reserved.