A New Decade

So in the truest fashion of my blog I am uploading my birthday content a month after the event, which makes sense because this was a surreal and unexpected scenario to be in when turning twenty. With that in mind please bear with my scattered thoughts from a month ago, but her it is:

To anyone who didn’t know I am a 2000’s baby, which means as we all have entered a new decade of 2020, I have entered the second decade of my life. I am no longer a teenager woohoo! Or at least that is what I thought I would feel like but instead, I am feeling the weight of the world as I realize I am now no longer really considered a kid. I mean I am of course still very young and at the beginner of my journey, I realize that, but I am no longer in the excusable teenage years.

I think entering a new decade of my life has gotten me thinking about the past ten years of my life, which comes with a lot of reflection at who I was as a kid and who I am now. With that I have also been contemplating the next ten years of my life, who am I going to be in another decade?

Graduating and having a career is on my horizon and with that, I also want to create a family. Buying a house is on the horizon if my partner and I play our cards right. Financial freedom is in my future if I just keep killing it at what I am doing now and continue believing in that dream. I may be a broke college student now but if I continue creating the dreams, I always wished for I can have whatever I want in a matter of years. There’s not even a number on it I just know that if I continue creating art with the passion I have and keep writing my experiences and stories, I will become the middle-aged woman I want to be, not the middle-aged woman I fear becoming.

The woman who gave up on her dreams because they were too big or too frightening. I don’t want to become the mom who hates her life because she gave up her dreams for kids, but I also don’t want to be the mother who is so concerned with her career that the babies feel unloved. I want to set up a lifestyle where I can be making money without actively being in the office every day before I have children so that I am allowed the financial freedom to enjoy taking care of my family for a while when it does happen. Because I am so excited for those days, I am turning twenty and simply thinking of the time I get to be a mom.

That life seems so far off from the one I have now where I get anxiety at having to make dinner most nights, but I am going to therapy, I am working on myself daily to create the future I know I want to have. That is the life I want and dream for bur I know I am young; I don’t expect perfection now. I know I am too young to expect my dreams to come true but how do I continue propelling myself in that direction?

I am taking my late teens and early twenties years to learn about how to create a passive income, how to be a good parent in the future, how to be a better partner now, how to teach people things, psychology, history, English, I am even relearning math. I am learning about my country’s government, I am learning about the economy, about foreign countries economies and governments, about world history.

I am about to start my second year of college and that has got to be exciting! I survived freshman year, I did better than just survive and now I shouldn’t let myself get down because the world seems unsure while I’m in college. To be honest, my education experience has never been normal, or easy, or even typical. So why would I expect my college education to be so? Thinking about it like that makes me chuckle to myself, to think that this would be my first year of college. Ha! A pandemic, of course.

Nothing about my life has ever gone the way I expect it to, I never thought I would turn twenty during a global pandemic, and I never thought I would be living in my home town after I turned eighteen. Nothing went exactly how I would expect it to, but none the less, I graduated high school and now I am working towards a career and living with my love in our own apartment. Just because this is not the way I would have imagined my life at twenty doesn’t mean it is a negative outcome.

They say the best time to learn is when you are younger, that’s why children can learn new languages more easily than adults and why older generations seem to be stubborn. It’s hard to learn how the world works when you’ve spent your whole life not being taught. That is why I care so much about learning now! I have an infinite amount of information at my fingertips with google, and not to mention the benefits I get as a college student. Now is my time to learn. I have to take advantage of it while it’s right in front of me.

I didn’t expect this birthday to be as introspective and reflective as it was but now, I see I probably needed it. This is not the birthday I expected but life isn’t what I expected and that is okay. It’s okay to not know what the hell is going on because you just turned twenty years old and you’re signed up for five college classes during a global pandemic. I am so lucky to have made it to twenty years old, and that has got to remind me that it is all okay.

4 – 30 – 2019

Supposedly 66% of Americans do not believe they have a good work life balance and frankly businesses aren’t helping, unlike France who encourages employees to disconnect digitally from work and gives 25 mandatory vacation days a year. Most working class americans are working long hours, weekends, and holidays, not too mention making minimum wage.

I’ve been a part of that statistic ever since I graduated high school, and because of labor laws protecting minors I still I had the chance to do teenager stuff even though I was working over 20 hours a week. Now as a “legal adult” I work long hours and get paid decent but I’m also too exhausted to do anything but sleep and work. Although I can take care of my basic needs, as someone who has a lot of dreams and wants to do well in life I find it hard to make time for productive activities or even fun activities. Of course work is a productive activity, I need money and everyone has to work crappy jobs before success, but as far as my dreams go I don’t want to be working at a supermarket my whole life so it can be a struggle convincing my brain that my reality now won’t be my reality forever.

As for having fun outside of work, it can be difficult because even though I have two days out of the week off, I find myself just catching up on all the tasks I got behind on while I was working. Employers are expecting almost 24/7 responses from their employees, leaving little to no time for things like family time, self care, fitness, and most importantly fun. Even at my job now, most people I work with are expecting to get called in begrudgingly on their days off. This is one of the key reasons I would like to start my own business someday, I could manage my time without having to cater to someone else’s needs. I read somewhere that modern culture has taken the role of work and put it as priority whereas in the past things like family were priority. I don’t know why that is and I’m not sure what to do about it but what I do know is I need to allow myself to make something other than work a priority sometimes.

Yes, I can blame the all work no play environment but also I have to take responsibility for the habits I’m doing, or not doing, to boost energy and fulfilment. 57% of those unsatisfied said that technology has ruined family dinner times, not only that but in my personal opinion technology is ruining Generation Z’s self esteem, motivation, and work ethic. Every single day I choose to scroll mindlessly through my phone, at the end of my night I couldn’t tell you one useful thing. I’m wasting literal hours of my day, hundreds of hours of my life on technology. A co-worker of mine and I were having a conversation the other day about her reading a book before work, she said “that’s just not something kids do anymore”. She is so right, eight year olds are getting the latest IPhone’s, babies don’t want to play with toys anymore they want our phones.

Don’t get me wrong I think technology is an awesome resource but we also have so much nonsense, mind-numbing material. Out of everything on the internet the amount of educational or resourceful information is miniscule compared to the dumb shit you see. If we took the vast database of knowledge we have on the web now and put it to education instead of prioritizing entertainment, I believe we would raise a much more intelligent generation. It’s all about balance something most don’t understand, you can most definitely watch all that netflix and youtube but is that really the only thing you can do? There are so many educational and interesting podcasts out there or even you can paint along with Bob Ross on youtube. Hey, maybe even push the bubble and read a book or take a walk or reorganize your house, there is so much to be done and frankly the balance seems to be in favor of the less productive tasks.

Copyright © 2020 Serra Isabella. All rights reserved.