Black is Beautiful

It has been a while since I last posted but it just hasn’t felt right to post anything I originally planned for this month because the world has been torn to shreds by global and national disasters. Now United States citizens are protesting in every state and I can’t bring myself to think of anything other than the current state of our planet. All of a sudden, my college experience doesn’t matter, my silly moon paintings don’t matter. What matters is this movement against corruption, I am not going to sit by and ignore what is happening right now around the nation.

I feel I must preface this with the simple fact that I am a white female and therefor anything I have to say in support of the Black Lives Matter movement is not a representation of the movement itself. I am beyond privileged to be in the position I am where I do not have to second guess whether I should call the cops because I fear for my life. I have no earthly idea what it is like and I will never know, but I do know that our justice system is not just, and I know that change needs to happen.

With that said, this has been one of the most eventful, disastrous, and chaotic years of my life. In January we thought WW III was upon us, then Australia was up in flames and kangaroos were burning. Kobe Bryant passed away in February and Hong Kong has been continuing protests from the end of 2019. Then a viral virus completely surprised the world and sent everyone into quarantine and just as restrictions were beginning to be lifted in the United States a man named George Floyd was murdered by police.

Protests are spreading across the country and as I write this all 5o U.S. states are having peaceful protests. Alongside those protests are some looting and rioting, by opportunists taking advantage of the chaos created in a protest. Buildings are being set on fire, innocent people are being sprayed with tear gas and shot with rubber bullets. The things I have witnessed in the last week are things straight out of a war.

While the world feels at war, I have been hesitant to say anything at all because I in no way want to take away from the Black Lives Movement and I most certainly don’t want to be insensitive. I know I don’t have all the facts, so I don’t ever want to spread misinformation and I honestly don’t think my voice matters much here, this is a time for black people to speak their mind and I want to give that space. As hesitant as I am I also cannot stay silent at a time when the world is being transformed, things won’t ever be the same (or at least they shouldn’t be).

I am witnessing history in the making, the events happening in 2020 will go down in history books and that in and of itself is something to be in awe of. Not only has this year hit everyone with unexpected challenges but now injustice is being broadcast across the country and people are sick of watching it. The corruption has bled through the front lines and now the citizens can see it and they are not standing for it.

I cannot speak for the Black Lives Matter movement, but I can speak in support of it. If I had to watch a recording of someone who resembles my dad get murdered by police officers more than once a year I would be rioting too. The government is in for a long-overdue reassessment, it may start with finding true equality for black lives, but it will not stop there. The number of unconstitutional acts that are being carried out by government officials is sickening and appalling. It isn’t just that laws are being broken though, it is that people are unquestionably angry about it now.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that most people have been stuck inside their homes for two months so their stir crazy, or maybe two months to themselves has given some people the ability to notice what is happening right under their noses. Either way, you can feel the tension in the air, you can see the tension on social media where everything is either fake “normal posting” or protest footage from across the country.

There is an acronym that has been passing around inside the black lives matter movement that is supposed to stand for “All Cops Are Bastards” or ACAB. This really resonated with me but only when it was explained to me. You see maybe not all cops are racist or murderers but all cops work for a broken justice system, all cops uphold a corrupt government law. There is a prime example of this during the protests when cops are spraying peaceful protestors with tear gas. Tear gas which in the 1925 Geneva Protocol, was designated as a chemical warfare agent and was banned shortly after World War I. That is an outrage that our government is using chemical warfare against the citizens of the United States of America. Are you kidding me?

Amidst all this pre-revolutionary speech I can’t help but think about childhood, when adults gave us books like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Divergent, and Ender’s Game to read. Since childhood, we have been watching our favorite characters be forced to sacrifice everything they have for the greater good of defeating corruption. We watched Katniss’s little sister Primrose die on the lines of the battle with President Snow, and we were there with Harry Potter as he sent himself into death knowing he may never see his friends again.
Now we are adults coming into a broken system and the biggest lessons we learned growing up were to never stand down to corruption. Since we were children we’ve been preparing for this moment, we watched over and over again corruption fall at the hands of unity and that’s exactly what we’re doing now.

Every Race is working together, every religion is joining forces, the Christians are praying for the witches and the Amish are protesting alongside the movement. Gangs are protesting together and even some police officers are walking with protestors. This is everyone against the government, everyone is angry about the injustice in our country. I don’t want to say it is not about race because this government is based on systemic racism against people of color, but I believe this is even bigger than that. The president is trying to revoke lgbtq+ rights, our government is threatening martial law on the citizens of the united states for exercising their right to protest. This is about the United States citizens versus the corrupt government.
Either way, injustice is happening, especially against black people and that must stop. There is a clear difference in how black Americans are treated and how white Americans are treated and that must stop. Black lives matter and black lives are beautiful, I will repeat these saying until justice is found and our broken system is fixed because black is beautiful.

There is so much more to be said on this topic and there is so much more that will come from these protests. How do you feel about the current state of the United States? What injustices have you personally seen? I want to hear your thoughts, so please comment below!

Copyright © 2020 Serra Isabella. All rights reserved.

INFP Personality Type

So, at this point, I’m sure you’ve heard about the Myer Briggs personality type test, and as much as I’ve seen about it, I had never taken it. As I am on to learn about myself and improve, I figured I should finally figure out which personality I am. With that said, in this post, we’re diving deep into my psyche and learning more about the INFP-T personality type. Now a little disclaimer here, I’m not so sure that I took the “official” Myer Briggs test (because I think I would have to pay for it) but I did take this one on the website “16personalities” and the results were surprisingly accurate.

According to this website, I am a mediator personality type (INFP-T). Aha! Finally, I know the combination of letters that supposedly describe my entire personality, but is it accurate? Well first off, this website told me the role of this personality type is the diplomat and the strategy this type uses through life is constant improvement.

Wait, didn’t I just write a blog post about how I constantly want to learn, and didn’t I just record a video expressing my yearning for growth and improvement through learning new things. Yes, yes, I did say that. So already, before I even get into my specific percentages on things like introversion vs. extroversion and intuition, I can already see a clear resemblance in myself and the INFP-T personality type. And speaking of those percentages I am 81% introverted (no surprise there), 70% intuitive, 75% feeling driven, 53% prospecting, and 94% turbulent.

Assertive vs. Turbulent

Now I want to start with the turbulence percentage because first of all, it confused me and then when I read about it, I was a little concerned. Apparently, the T in INFP-T stands for turbulent and if I had an A instead it would mean assertive and since I had 94%, I am very turbulent. In the mediator personality type, the difference between the two is in “too much or too little” according to 16personalities.

When I first began reading about the difference, I thought that turbulent meant unconfident and unstable, but it really seems to mean that they are hyper-aware of their actions (and flaws) so they second guess and underestimate themselves. Now at this point it still felt like I should be working towards being an assertive personality type (in true INFP fashion I guess) but reading on about assertive types made me reassess.

16 personalities say that this constant self-evaluation from turbulent types can appear as an investment because “generally work hard to compensate for what they see as a weakness” whereas assertive personality types are less likely to feel regret or guilt for their actions, therefor not appearing as interested as their turbulent counterparts. At this point, I am in awe of how accurate everything I am reading is, I’m sure it can apply to many people, but I cannot deny the similarities in myself and this written description of a mediator personality type.

As to how turbulent people can stray too far on the side of self-critic, assertive people can stray too far towards arrogant independence when they refuse to “accept feedback and advice from others at crucial times”. A person with an assertive mediator personality type is 61% more likely to not ask for help and make important decisions on their own. Some turbulent mediators may be begging for this ability but the same could be said for assertive mediators wishing to be able to express regret. This shows me that balance in this area is important because too much of either side seems to have a negative outcome but a balance of the two could be the perfect scenario.

 Strengths and Weaknesses

Now this site has so much information and I could go on and on about personality types and so forth, but I will keep it short and simple for this post. If you want to hear more make sure to like and comment so I know what to write more about! On to the strengths of mediators, which are that: we are idealistic, we seek and value harmony, we are open-minded and flexible, we are very creative, we are passionate, energetic, hardworking, and dedicated. Again, the results are so spot on I am not sure what to even say. I am showing my creativity, passion, and hard work now with this blog and my art, I have a constant battle with perfectionism, and I even noticed how much I hate conflict (which disrupts the harmony).

My personality types weaknesses are as follows: too altruistic, too idealistic, impractical, we dislike handling data, we take things personally (me, me, me), and we’re difficult to get to know. The last two really hit me hard because taking things personally is something my spouse and I have had so much trouble with, and the simple fact that I don’t have more than one friend tells me I probably am hard to get to know (my RBF probably doesn’t help either). At this point in my young adult life, I think I am taking on more of the weaknesses of my personality than the strengths, causing some of the strengths to disappear. Since my personality type is constantly striving for improvement, I immediately felt the need to rectify the weaknesses and “fix myself” (whatever that even means). But, instead of allowing myself to wallow in the fact that I resonate more with weaknesses than strengths and what that says about me (continuing to prove my turbulent status), I decided to keep reading.

Career Paths for INFP

This is where I really started to get excited about my results, I guess because I am at that age where I am supposed to figure out what my career will be and so forth. I was then met with a slightly disheartening first sentence: “It is perhaps more challenging for Mediators to find a satisfying career than any other type”. Yikes. They quickly rectify their pessimism explaining that the mediator’s passion and creativity in modern times are highly sought after and paid for. Then they hit me with a sentence so true it hurts, “First and foremost is seemingly every Mediators’ dream growing up – to become an author”.

What? Are you kidding me, how could this fifteen-minute quiz figure that out about me, on top of all the other accuracies? Stunned I continue reading to find out that what I am currently doing is exactly what most mediator personality types wish could be their life. Blogging and freelance work online is a fantastic place for mediators to get the creative fulfillment they need as well as fuel their goal of constant improvement.

This little tidbit gave me a boost of reassurance in choosing the creative life I have chosen just a few months prior. It is hard when it seems like everyone else can get a normal job, go to work every day, and have no issues, but to read that an entire personality group of people feel the same way made me feel less like a failure. Knowing that I don’t need to force myself into a job just because it pays my bills or seems like the smart thing, especially when It does nothing but destroy my personality gives me the confidence to tell others about what I am doing.

In conclusion, this quick little personality test on has given me a perspective I hadn’t acknowledged before. I am ecstatic to continue reading and learning about the INFP personality type (because again that whole constant improvement thing really drives the majority of my behavior. So, if you want to see more about the INFP personality type you can go check out the video I made while taking it, and make sure to like comment, and subscribe so I know to post more. Thank you for reading this far and have a wonderful wherever you are in the world.

Copyright © 2020 Serra Isabella. All rights reserved.

I Started a Garden and I think I failed

So, first off let me just say I live on the third floor of an apartment building built in the 1970’s, there isn’t a lot of light, but I do have pretty killer vaulted ceilings. Anyway, my point is I should have known back in February that trying to plant a garden inside an apartment with a little tiny balcony wasn’t going to work super well but yet here we are. I have a tomato plant, chives, carrots, rhudabeckias, lavender, marigolds, a whole lot of sunflowers, and two deceased baby spinach plants (the bugs got to them and then I over watered them and hit the nail on the coffin). No in trying to grow a garden in a less acheivable climate and area has taught me a few things and shown me where I totally messed up.

Too Many Seeds

My first mistake when planting these little guys was putting an entire bag of seeds into one (maybe two) little tiny compostable jiffy pots. Little did I know then that I was placing all those little seeds into a warzone where only the strongest branch would come out alive and blooming. I should have really only done 2 or 3 seed per pot because now I can see a million little branches sprouting from the soil and each one doesn’t look like they have enough space. So in future gardens I will have to remember that I don’t need to use the whole bag of seeds in one pot (it will probably save me money as well as plants).

By Serra Isabella

Planting Too Soon

The next mistake I made was planting these seeds way too soon, I should have waited until about March or April instead of early February, but you live, and you learn. This may not be a big concern in humid or warm environments but for mountain land February is still winter. I have watched my poor little plants wilt from the cold spring snows that happen here in Colorado as I try to resuscitate them with sparing rations of water (as to not over water like I did with my baby spinach).

Pot Sizes

Originally I had my two tomato plant seedling in a 6 inch pot. This was a mistake. After maybe three weeks it was apparent that this pot was way too small for a continuously growing vegetable plant. Also, when planting my carrots I didn’t take into consideration how they grow. I planted an absurd amount of carrots into a pot and did not space them apart so now I am just patiently waiting to harvest a carrot blob in the fall.

Insects and Disease

If you haven’t assumed by now, I am not a green thumb but somehow, I have plenty of green growing plants sitting on my balcony right now. Some of them might have a disease or bugs or something and I am not even sure how to fix that The leaves at the bottom are wilting and yellow and some have holes in them. I saw a post on Pinterest explaining different plant vitamin deficiencies and it looked like they might be potassium deficient. It’s my first season so I don’t know what I’m doing, plus I bought some fertilizer sticks and insecticide spray to help my little guys out.

By Serra Isabella

Thriving Anyway

Even with my plants constantly fighting for survival against insects, disease, and the Coloradan elements they have found some way to grow. My marigolds have begun blooming brighter than my future and my sunflowers are getting bigger every day. I can see the little bulbs on my tomato plant which will eventually become little tomatoes. I’ve watched my little defense less seedlings grow into strong and tall flowers and vegetables. Summer has barely started so I can’t wait to see how long I can keep my plant babies alive, plus I really want to see my lavender bloom.

By Serra Isabella

Gardening In The Future

I’ve always dreamed of having a big voluptuous garden with strawberries, lettuce, peppers, lemons, and all kinds of foods so that I can eat right out of my backyard. I wish for lavender flowers blooming throughout my property and sunflowers brightening up my life. A beautiful wooden arch draped with vines hanging above a pathway, I can see it in my mind now the hard part is making it a reality. As you can see, this year is not the season to make my garden dreams come true, but I am continuing to learn and hopefully someday I will have the garden I dream of.

If anyone has any tips or tricks for keeping a balcony garden alive, I would greatly appreciate the advice! If you are a plant killer like me, leave a like below and let me know how many plants you’ve killed (I think my count is 5). I look forward to speaking to all of you and thanks again for reading my content!

Copyright © 2020 Serra Isabella. All rights reserved.

My Reaction to You Are A Bada** by Jen Sincero

Truth be told it took me a really long time to read this book, over a year, that’s a long time. Not because I wasn’t interested, or it wasn’t good but because I fell into exactly what Sincero describes as the “void”. Work, school, relationships, and life just piled too high for me that I completely forgot about the book with only about five chapters left in it.

I quit my job a month ago, and so to speak began pulling myself out of the void and then I remembered I still hadn’t finished this book, I had even forgot where I put it. I found it right on top of my shelf in my living room and started soaking up the last few words of Jen Sincero, and boy am I glad I did. Her whole book is aimed at getting her audience to abandon their fears doubts and worries and full heartedly follow their “Source-energy”.

My ultimate favorite part of Sincero’s whole novel is that starting in part two at the end of every chapter, after she has listed out all her instructions for the topic, she instructs her audience to “Love Yourself” (62). She has a different reasoning for every time she states it but that is how she ends the chapters for the rest of her novel.

She separated her book into five sections: how you got this way, how to embrace your inner badass, how to tap into the mother lode, how to get over your BS already, and finally how to kick some ass. This specific order takes your through the process of becoming the best version of yourself in chronological order. When I first began reading this over a year ago I just about finished the fourth section of getting over your bullshit. Which maybe explains why it took me so long to continue reading because I have some bullshit to work through.

Up until part five Jen Sincero seems to be building your confidence up and trying to break you out of your own head, or as she would say “wake up from the Big Snooze” (43). Throughout her book she has chapters talking about finances, self-love, religion, meditation, controlling your brain, gratitude, forgiveness, fear, the universe, and more. Quite frankly it that takes a lot of work to help people change themselves, you have to give them some sort of spiritual break through or an epiphany which Sincero defined as: “a visceral understanding of something you already know” (231).

This quote stood out to me because I too have had an epiphany that completely changed the way I perceived the world, but I also had to look up what visceral means. Apparently, it means relating to deep meaningful feelings rather than intellect, and boom here is my epiphany. I have read self-help books and I scroll through Pinterest daily for self-help advice, but it wasn’t until I looked up the word “visceral” that I realized something. Just knowing what to do isn’t enough, you have to have an emotional reaction in order for it to mean something to you and therefor do something about it.

After she breaks her readers out of their normal daily cycles of unhealthy habits she devotes the last section to helping the audience decide on their goals, providing advice on becoming fruitful, reminding her audience to surrender, checking unrealistic expectations and finally motivating the audience to take the advice she has given an pursue their dreams. I think the reason it took me so long to finish reading this book is because I just wasn’t ready to surrender my control to the universe, my faith, or her advice and attack my dreams but as I write this now, I am taking Sincero’s advice. I don’t have to fear not creating something unique enough or new enough, I just have to do what I love and love what I do. I do believe I can have all that I want, and I know I will get it someday, I am so grateful for what I already have, and I am filled with the giddy excitement for my future.

Part of this newfound passion and drive of mine is due to Jen Sincero’s book, she provides truthful advice that isn’t covered in a haze of perfectionism and she lets you know when you could be doing better. Her delivery is personable, witty and understanding while giving you exactly what you need to read. I absolutely needed to hear everything she wrote, and honestly feel that everyone could take some advice from a wise author like Jen Sincero.

Copyright © 2020 Serra Isabella. All rights reserved.